So rather than combing through football rosters for information relevant to a
player's on-field performance, or using said info for any useful purpose
whatsoever, we've instead gone through the ranks to highlight something over
which players had absolutely no control: their names. The NFL has given us
people with nicknames like William "The Refrigerator" Perry, so called because
of his frequent visits to one and also because he looked as close as a human
could to one without being robbed of the ability of forward movement and others
with names like Man Mountain, which also wasn't in any way ironic.
Here, however,
is a list of gridiron athletes whose given names are so stellar that they do not
need nicknames. Compiled from current NFL rolls and barring any exploding
kneecaps or other assorted football injuries over the weekend, here, in no
particular order, are the best damn legal names currently on a National Football
League roster. That's currently, people, so no waxing poetic about Blood Mcnally
tearing up City Stadium in the days before helmets.
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